a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
