you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Less talking, more tequila
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I have aggressive nipples.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
