never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
