yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
