omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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