i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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