Jerry, you need to find god
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
