I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He called his prostate his "boner button".
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize