we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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