goodnight i made you a song goodbye
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
