She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
