You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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