i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
