..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Plan B is the new Plan A
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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