I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
