We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
