i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize