The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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