WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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