You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
