Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Ladies don't puke and tell
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
