My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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