So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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