I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
