That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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