i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Randomize
