im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
this boner is exhausting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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