So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
