So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
its not stalking. its research.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
