i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
