a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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