I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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