Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
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