my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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