her vagine was all disorganized.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
