I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
