Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Randomize
