What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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