im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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