the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
