I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize