U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm sobbing to NWA
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
