My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize