I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Randomize