giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Even my vagina gasped.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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