singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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