You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
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Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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