So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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