I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
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I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
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I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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