How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
