Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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