you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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