i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
