Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(308): View more from Nebraska

i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.

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(360): View more from Washington

If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.

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(801): View more from Utah

Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(925): View more from California

its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife

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(502): View more from Kentucky

if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.

(1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.

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(310): View more from California

What's the address?

(626): View more from California

Too drunk. Just google it.

(310): View more from California

IT'S YOUR HOUSE

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.

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