but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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