Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
